A/N: New Series: “Dear Friend…” my letters to friendship. No one inperticular. To general friendship. To general experiences. This is what I learned.
This is what I learned now: I realized something important: there is a difference between a contract and a covenant. Those words matter a lot in friendship. So I decided to write a letter to all of my friends who deemed me there “Contractual Friend”. This is for all my friends who I was a contractual friend too. Unfortunately, most of us have been a Contractual Friend more then once. I am not calling anyone out…this is not what this is about. This is about learning. Let’s learn together. ❤
I don’t know if you started our friendship as a contract. Maybe you did. Maybe it was an accident. Something that you started for fun and it turned into a contract. If that’s the case: I don’t know what I could offer you that you deemed worthy to contract to me. I wouldn’t know why you did it. Like I said, maybe you didn’t do it on purpose. Maybe it’s just the way it ended up. I don’t know.
In school I’m learning about the difference between contract and covenant relationships/friendships. A contract relationship is what you have when someone has a friendship with you because you have something to offer them. A covenant relationship when you make a covenant to someone to stay with them, even when they have nothing to offer you. This applies a lot in marriage, but also in friendship. You, my dear, are not someone who is making “Covenant Friendships.” I was a contractual friend to you. You took me for what I had and dropped me when I had nothing left to offer you. If I’m being honest…that hurt. A lot.
Here’s the deal lovely, I am still your friend. In friendships I don’t contract out. I might pull back if I feel as if our relationship is unhealthy. But I won’t dump you if you have nothing to offer. I’ll be here for you. I’ll love you. I’ll be around, always…even if you sometimes aren’t for me. I will to try to be like Jesus. And I think this is what Jesus would do.
I love you.
Yes, you dumped me.
But that’s okay.
I made a covenant to help you when I could.
So, here I am.
Your Covenant Friend,